I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
