i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize