I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize