My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
