And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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