I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
there is another microwave in the elevator.