i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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