in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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