just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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