mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
