after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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