i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
