D3 body, D1 cock
It's Friday. Sex?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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