we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
