Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
