and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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