if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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