I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
