Tell her she can't have a vagina
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize