Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
