Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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