we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
