yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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