just tell him i said nine months
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
