Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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