I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
