u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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