WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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