he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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