Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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