wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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