Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
"it" just moved
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
