Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize