Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
