so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
