You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
