I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
