she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
