Your face is a jimmy john
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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