would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize