The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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