why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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