I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
