um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
