the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
be right there i have to get my cape
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
