Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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