if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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