It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The air was thick with penises
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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