I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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