Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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