I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
