He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
