I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am midnight drunk by noon
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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