She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
