is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
