It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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