I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
