Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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