Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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