If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's never too late to be topless.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
