I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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