i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
