My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
