people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
